Preschool Expulsion: River’s Story

*names changed at the request of the family 

“An old soul.” “Wise beyond his years.” “A precocious child with a twinkle in his eye.” These are some of the ways River’s family and friends describe him—a child with a voracious appetite for good stories and good jokes, a child with wit and charm, one not afraid to speak with new people, even adults.

River was also a child who struggled with sensory sensitivities, anxiety, and with managing his emotions. Sometimes, River’s worries, feelings, or simply the hustle-and-bustle going on around him became so intense that he acted out, overwhelming his classmates, and his teachers. That is, sometimes River tried to work through his big emotions, experiences, and anxiety through big behaviors—hitting and kicking, biting, screaming, throwing things—especially at preschool where he spent his days while his parents were busy at work.

Before meals, snacks, and as the day wore on, River’s feelings could get so intense that if other children or teachers in his preschool classroom got in the path of the storm—look out! With feelings running high, it was also hard for River to calm down during naptime. But his teachers were working in an unforgiving situation: long hours, minimal pay due to industry standards, and high student-to-teacher ratios that made it hard to handle a high-needs child like River. When naptime would roll around, River’s teachers needed a break! So, rather than give him a quiet activity to help him feel calm and occupied, River’s teachers would try and force him to spend the two-hour naptime laying still with no outlet or engagement. As you can probably guess that strategy didn’t work for River, or his teachers!

Given the high pressure and lack of training River’s teachers were experiencing, they didn’t have the time, energy, or training to help River self-regulate, self-soothe, and stay engaged. Overworked and underpaid, at a certain point, River’s teachers got so frustrated, and even scared, that they often simply gave up. So, many days, River’s parents—Hope and Andy—would get a call at work. These calls were often the same: exhausted and stressed teachers whose nerves were so frayed that they sounded impatient, resigned, and even mean. As Hope told us:

“We got calls to pick him up constantly. Once when I arrived, his teacher even told me that River was a monster! I was shocked to hear a teacher talk like that about a child, especially one who was struggling! If that happened today, I’d know what to say. But at the time I didn’t know what my rights were. I didn’t know what to do.”

The stress of not fitting in with his peers and the disruption of getting pulled from school wore on River as much as on his parents, leaving him feeling isolated and rejected, memories that linger to this day. After one too many of these judgmental calls home from teachers, one too many difficult conversations with other parents, one too many emergency pick-ups, one too many missed days of work, Andy and Hope felt pressured to remove River from his preschool. And so, Andy quit his job to care for River at home, since his teachers, it seemed, were not equipped to do so.

This kind of “soft expulsion”—that is, when young children are unofficially pushed out of Early Childhood Education settings—are more common than we think. In fact, preschool expulsion is currently a national crisis, 3 times more common than for school age children. That’s especially true for children who are struggling. In fact, children with developmental differences are expelled at a rate of 5.4% compared with 1.2% of their typically developing peers. Although African American children represent only 18% of enrollment, they represent 48% of preschool expulsions. And children from low-income areas are 4 times more likely than others to be expelled from preschool. What’s more, Minnesota has the 11^th-highest preschool expulsion rate in the nation. These sobering statistics have motivated St. David’s Center to help lead the charge to create change.

As we say at St. David’s Center, “all behavior is communication”. Like River, these children who are experiencing both official and unofficial expulsions are not trying to be “naughty.” Rather, they are trying to be understood. However, River’s preschool teachers didn’t have the knowledge and tools to interpret what River’s behaviors meant, or what triggers might bring them on. Neither did they have the tools to help him regulate and manage his feelings and experiences, or to keep his friends and classmates safe at the same time. Instead, his teachers, feeling like they were out of options, resorted to hurtful labels and exclusion.

At our recent Community Briefing in downtown Minneapolis, Dr. Songtian Zeng told an audience of state and local officials, educators, and healthcare professionals: “Expulsion is not an intervention.” In fact, the long-term impacts of experiences like expulsion—experiences of rejection and disruption—are well documented, with negative outcomes for mental, emotional, physical and social health and wellbeing throughout an individual’s lifetime, impacting their communities as well.

Our Community Briefing this month helped to raise awareness about these alarmingly high rates of preschool expulsion and brought together those who are working to find solutions across education, healthcare, and legislative sectors. In response to the increasingly complex needs of young children, St. David’s Center has also expanded our services to include an Early Childhood Education Consultation Program, helping preschools like River’s build capacity and develop the skills to support and serve children with unique needs, while also supporting and serving his peers and teachers.

Today, River is an active sixth grader, who recently starred in the local production of Annie. He’s still got that twinkle in his eye, but with the right support, he’s more able to manage his anxiety and emotions, and to identify triggers when he’s feeling overwhelmed by sensory or other stimuli. These kinds of coping strategies—along with  a school with lots of support for children with unique needs—ensure that he can succeed with his peers, and be ready to learn. But that success story didn’t happen in a vacuum. Hope and Andy not only found a supportive school, but also found resources for children with disabilities through the Pacer Center, ongoing pediatric therapies, and support for their own parenting journey that have helped River learn the skills he needs to thrive.

If you are a teacher or administrator with an Early Childhood Education program, we encourage you to check out our Early Childhood Education Consultation program. We’ve also created an FAQ that might answer some of your outstanding questions. Or, if you’re interested in advocating for children like River, you can connect with organizations like Think Small or with the Solutions not Suspensions Coalition, or with agencies like St. David’s Center, where we’re equipping children, families, schools, and communities to ensure that every child is included and thrives.